dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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