Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sorry my hands just texted you
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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