the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
