Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
