i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
