The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
