I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i drank out of a bidet.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
