i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
