totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
