Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
