No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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