Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm bleeding and have questions
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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