There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
