32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
