Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
