so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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