So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
