im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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