Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
