thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
