We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
