I just cut my nipple shaving
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
