people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
