I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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