All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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