I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
