Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
