He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
