Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
