What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
