don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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