things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
