ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
