It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
