I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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