You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
