please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
