Only a mothe r could love this liver
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
