Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
