Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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