my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
