I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
