its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
