How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
