dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
