look no pants
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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