Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
