I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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