she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just had sex on a roof
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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