We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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