is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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