If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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