you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
