It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
