Well apparently he's into motor boating.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
