Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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