oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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