so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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