This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
